Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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