I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
