Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
