What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
