Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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