And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
