2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
