I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
