i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
