Need sex. Gaining weight.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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