Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
