I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
