do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
