Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
