you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
