Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I want to fling myself into the sun
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
