just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
