i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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