I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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