summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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