If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
