she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
