Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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