my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
