you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
