someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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