Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
