Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
