I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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