So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
