i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
