new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
