i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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