According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize
