there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Do vagina's smell?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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