so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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