brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
