we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
