Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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