my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
your room smells of hookers.
And success
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
