I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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