i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
