ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
