I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
