not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
