I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
