David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
