Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
