I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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