Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
