so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I bet he comes in French.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
