So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I need water and some morals
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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