I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
well you can't waste a boner
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
