And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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