Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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