I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
