y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
