Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Still dying that you shit outside
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
