There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
