So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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