the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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