Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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